Crazy in the Fog
by thatchick21
Summary: Multiple random drabbles/one shots about alot of characters/pairings  WARNING: OOCness maybe , language, and slightly sexual situtions... Reviews appreciated very dearly
1. Chapter 1

Obviously we do not own Hetalia or the characters

Here goes nothing:

England steps mysteriously from the fog, "America, you git! Give me back my weather!"

America laughs. "Never! Hahahahahaha!"

Hungary is filming this all. "Come on, you guys! I want some yaoi here!" She whispers.

France, using the fog to his advantage, gropes England…

Then runs for his life realizing he actually groped Russia.

Belarus randomly pops up out of nowhere. "Marry me, brother. Marriage. Marriage. Marriage…."  
Russia, thoroughly creeped out, screams, "Aaahhhh! Get away from me!"

Hungary glares and pulls out a frying pan. "Unless you're going to turn into a guy, GET OUT OF MY MOVIE!"

Belarus fades out slowly. "I'll be seeing you soon brother… Soon…."

Russia cries softly.  
Italy and Germany randomly walk in. "Ve~! It sure is foggy!"

"You're right, Italy."  
Hungary's eyes gleam creepily. "Yes! More yaoi!"

Germany realizes that it should be sunny, since they were supposed to be visiting Cuba. "I think we made a wrong turn at that ummm… You know… that one country…"  
"Ve~! I am following the right directions, right?"

Germany, feeling a little frustrated, looks at the page in Italy's hands. "No, Italy. Those are directions to the hotel in we stayed at last week."

Romano walks in, Spain clinging to his arm. " Oi, Potato bastard! You touch my brother, you're gonna feel the wrath of the mafia!"

Hungary starts majorly nose bleeding.

"Ve~! But fratello, you have Spain, right~? Why can't I have Germany?"

Hungary starts to faint from loss of blood but remembers she has a duty to the yaoi camera.

Spain decides to speak up, " I agree with-"

"Shut up you tomato bastar-" Spain kisses him to shut him up.

Hungary faints.

"Lemme finish.. I agree with your brother." Romano runs off yelling something about potatoes, tomatoes, pasta, love and bastards.

Spain sighs running after him, apologizing.

Italy kisses Germany. "I saw that, potato bastard!" can be heard from a distance.

"Verdammt! What is your bruder's problem with our relationship, Feli?" Hungary nose bleeds even though she is already passed out cold.

France sneaks up behind the totally forgotten England and pulls him into the fog never to be seen for the rest of the day.

Russia tries this on America only to run away to find a place to throw up since America's breath smelt so bad.

Hungary recovers from her unconsciousness. "Huh? Where did all the US/UKness go?"

Meanwhile, Romano is 'trying' to escape from Spain's apology kisses.

Hungary notices this, evilly grinning and thinks: "Oh, he sooo likes it, I know it!"

America is laughing his butt off as a blushing Japan asks for a copy of the film.

~~~~~~Hetalia~~~~~~~~~

In a castle far far away Austria is getting frustrated by Algebra I homework.

He then decides to write a super long musical composition about his feelings.

"Fuck that, Austria! You're supposed to be helping me!" an angry high school student yells.

"I beg your pardon?" Austria puts on his prissy face while sipping his tea.

"Oh. I'm ever so sorry. What I meant was: You are supposed to be helping me with my gosh damn homework you freaking worthless aristocrat!"

~~~~~~~Hetalia~~~~~~~

"You look, like, totally AMAZING in that skirt"

"A-are you sure? I feel kind of awkward… And was that just Russia running and screaming for his life? And NOT because of Belarus?"

Russia screams something about America's terrible burger breath.

Latvia faints. "Lativiaaaa!" was the immediate response from Estonia.  
~~~~~~~Hetalia~~~~~~

Canada smiles sweetly. "Did you finally remember me Papa Francis and Papa Arthur?"

Totally not noticing him, France and England continue their 'business' right in front of Canada, mentally scarring him for life.

"Did you hear something, Arthur?"

"No, except your annoying voice frog!"

"You wound me so, anglaterre," he then does his dramatic hair flip.

Sparkling and pulling out a rose to present to England, "but, oh, how I love the scars that are imprinted on my heart from your passionate hatred, mon cher!"

England blushes. "Come here and shut up…. Frog."

Prussia comes up behind Canada "Don't worry! The awesome me remembers you! Kesesesese!" Prussia then pulls Canada out of the room so as to avoid more mental scarring

"Are you that shocked, Birdie?" Prussia says before he kisses Canada.

Canada blushes and snaps out of it.


	2. Saintism

_Author's note: So another drabble straight out of our (mine and ur-a-baka95's) text messages (this chapter was written by ur-a-baka95) …. Reviews appreciated (and sorry if for some reason you find this offending)_

_Hetalia still isn't ours_

(flashback)

Arthur Kirkland stood, staring (more like glaring) at the painting before him. It was of a certain Francis Bonnefoy looking very saintly and, well, pure. Which was completely the opposite of the man. "How the bloody hell does this pedophile become a freaking saint?"

Somewhere in the background, Yong Soo suddenly exclaimed, "Saintism originated in me, da-ze!"

Unbeknownst to Arthur, Francis had snuck up behind him, snaking an arm around the Englishman's waist. Arthur snapped back to reality when he heard the Frenchman sigh, "Ah, mon cher, I am finally recognized in my saintlihood."

"Is that even a word, you frog?" Arthur said as he pushed the other man away.

"Words originated in me, da-ze!"

Arthur and Francis glared at each other for quite some time before either one of them spoke.

"Wanker."

"Ah, but mon cher-"

"Bloody frog!" Arthur storms out of the room... a bit too much like a girl would.

"Girly storm-outs originated in me, da-ze!"

~Hetalia~

"Oi! Arthur! Wanna help me finish my ale?" the slightly drunk Scotsman, named Boris, asked his half-brother.

"Not now, Boris. I have a meeting with that bloody hamburger idiot to discuss war plans against Francis... that damn rapist..."

"Did you know he's a saint now?" This received a death glare from the Brit. Boris nervously giggled in response. "I'll just go see if Prussia and Germany are up for a drinking contest... Excuse me."

"Heya! What's up Arty?" called Alfred, waving him over with the hand not full of hamburger.

"Did you even get my message, you git?"

"What message?"

"You have got to be bloody kidding me..." Arthur said, almost to himself. "I called you after I escaped from Francis. We were going to meet here to plan revenge...?" Seeing no response from the seemingly clueless American, he started towards his brother again.

"Wait! Arthur! I will help you if you agree to go on a date with me!" The American flashed him his signature toothpaste ad smile, pleased with himself. "I'd say that's a pretty good deal for you!" he added with a wink.

After glaring at Alfred for some time, he finally gave in to the American's stubbornness. "You bloody wanker... Alright, I will go on a date with you..." As he said this, he turned away, blushing.

-later-

Boris smiled knowingly as his brother smiled evilly, laughing and rubbing his hands together. 'Oh, this is going to be good... He is obviously concocting some sort of evil plan. Hasn't he learnt yet?'

"So, ummm... Off to America's house, then?"

"Yes, or are you a bloody deaf drunk?"

"At least I'm not an angry drunk! And I have a high alcohol tolerance, unlike a certain someone I know, so I am not drunk at the moment."

"S-shut the fuck up! Why is my own bloody brother such a wanker?" Then he remembered his scheme, so he added with a dazzling smile, "But a wanker in a good way."

"How can you be a wanker in a good way?" Boris asked, more than a little creeped out.

"Let us continue to my favorite ex-colony's house, shall we?" Arthur asks, his smile never wavering.

(end flashback)

~Hetalia~

"Arty!" The Brit is greeted at the door by a big kiss from the powerful man. Arthur 'unintentionally' deepens the kiss. (He never admits his true feelings for him. Poor Alfred.) Blushing, Arthur pulls away, remembering that Boris had followed him to America's house.

Boris clears his throat. Alfred looks up, just now noticing the red haired man behind Arthur.

"So... umm... Who is this?"

"You have got to be kidding me! I have introduced you to my brother, have I not?" Arthur sighs in annoyance.

"Well, you can't expect me to remember everyone!"

"This is my half-brother, Boris. Otherwise known as Scotland," Arthur says, trying to keep his annoyance in check.

"Cool! Dude, is the Loch Ness Monster real!"

"Why is that ALWAYS the first question I'm asked?" The Scotsman says, annoyed.

"Because that's all that's in your country. Duh," says Alfred with a goofy grin on his face.

"Ooh and You're so cool with your Statue of Liberty!"

"Yeah. That and the Arch, the Space Needle, New York, California-"

"Alright! Alright, already! I get the picture!" Boris exclaims as he storms off.

As soon as Boris is out of view, Alfred leans in to kiss Arthur, who, blushing, pulls away.

"What do you think you're doing, you git!"

"Come on, Arty! Don't be like that!"

-Somewhere else, Elizaveta faints, watching the screen showing the footage from one of her many hidden cameras.-

Alfred and Arthur walk inside the house after seeing a very disgruntled old lady shaking her fist at them. "Save that for the bedroom!" she yelled at the pair, one of which was trying to hide his blushing face.

Once inside the house, they go to the living room, sitting down on the couch awkwardly, as far apart from each other as possible.

"So... Ummm... About the date... Where do you want to go?"

"You git! You're supposed to know the destination BEFORE you ask someone on a bloody date!"

Alfred pulls a hamburger out of nowhere and starts to nervously eat. "I know. I'm sorry..."

"Okay... fine you git. I'll go... But NO HAMBURGERS!"

"Aww... but Arty...!" Alfred pleads.

"You heard me," Arthur says as he crosses his arms. "And don't call me that!"

"Fine then, Iggy," Alfred responds, smirking.

"Stop that, you git!" Arthur says as he finds himself once again being kissed by the American.

"No. Not until you prove that you don't like it."

Arthur turns away, blushing ten shades of red. "Bollocks..."

Alfred hugs him from behind, making the Englishman blush even more if that is even possible. Alfred proceeded to kiss and suck on Arthur's neck. "D-don't... Bloody wanker..."

Alfred turns Arthur to face him and once again their lips meet, tentatively at first. The smaller Englishman melts into the kiss as the other deepens the kiss.

Alfred leans back, still embracing Arthur. "Still want me to stop?" he says in a smug voice.

Arthur brings them back to the previous subject with, "Well, since we have already agreed no hamburgers," Alfred frowns slightly at this, but surprisingly does not interrupt. "How about we go to that new Italian restaurant?"

"You mean Buono Tomato? That place is amazing!" Alfred lightens up as he says this.

~Hetalia~

As Arthur and Alfred get seated in the restaurant, everyone is staring, so Arthur discreetly asks for a more private seat. He gets his wish.

Then they see 'it'. A wall of 'Feli's BFFs'. Their faces were right in the center next to a huge picture of Ludwig.

They got a seat near the kitchen, so they can hear their friends in there easily. "G-get off me, tomato bastard! Mmph-"

"Ve~! Fratello is so cute with Antonio!"

"S-shut up! I need to go take Alfred and Arthur's orders!"


	3. Beaches and Icecream

_Authors note: Once again… me and my friend (ur-a-baka95) were texting… we are currently doing this chapter as a team instead of just one of us writing it. Hopefully you enjoy… if you do review (lol that rhymes…) little loopy off sugar _

Italy comes up to Germany excitedly, holding his phone in his hand. "Ve~! Germany! America invited us and a bunch of other countries to hang out at the beach!"

"When?" Germany asked unenthusiastically.

"1:00. We will also have ice-cream later! Ve~!"

"Okay, we can go then I guess…" Germany says instantly knowing he would regret it later.

"Yay! Thank you Germany!" Italy sqees excitedly, giving Germany a peck on the cheek. Causing the blonde to blush.

~Hetalia~

Germany and Italy are greeted with the sounds of the ocean lapping gently at the shore…not! They are instead greeted by rowdy America shouting at the top of his lungs that: "Since I'm the hero, I will definitely save your ass if you're drowning, Iggy!" "You bloody git! I am an excellent swimmer! I won't need your hel—mmph! S-stop. Some of the guests have arrived."

"Great…." Germany sighs as Italy runs and hugs England and America. He is carrying enough pasta to feed 100 Americas. "Me and Germany made that pasta last night, so its still fresh!"

"Gutentag. America, England," the ever-serious Germany said. "Aww, don't be so serious, Ve~! We're at the beach to have fun!" Italy smiles, quickly kissing Germany. America busts up laughing at Germany for blushing. England shoots him a sympathetic look while poor Italy is just plain confused.

~Hetalia~

The scene at the beach was rather carefree. America and England were making out when they thought the other nations weren't looking. Russia was kissing China sweetly, scaring the crap out of anyone who happened to look in their direction. Spain was lying next to Romano in the sand, the waves lapping at their bodies. Hungary was sunbathing and trying to stay conscious while watching the couples discreetly (she was reading a magazine, or appeared to be to the other countries). Canada was blushing immensely as Prussia caught him in the waves and hugged him from behind. Germany and Italy decided to build a sand sculpture of pasta. Italy, much to the German's embarrassment and delight kept kissing him. He would only return the kiss when Romano wasn't glaring daggers at him. France was sneaking around the beach and trying to grope everyone but Russia. Korea was going around shouting that 'Your breasts belong to me, da-ze!' or 'Kissing originated in me, da-ze!' Belarus was sneaking around trying to kill China so her and Russia could become one at.. then Ancient Rome burst from the ocean and being accompanied by Austria provide music to set the mood even more. Poland was pulling Lithuania into the ocean. "Like, this is so totally awesome! I get to wear my new swimsuit!" Everyone stared unbelieving at how much Poland looked like a chick in his bikini. Hong Kong was idly sitting at the shoreline, the waves lapping at his feet. Korea had stopped trying to claim peoples' breast and was sitting next to Hong Kong. As the sun set, Romano, blushing red as a tomato, gently kissed Spain. "It's good luck to kiss your lover on a beach at sunset, right?" he answered the unasked question.

America suddenly yelled, "IT'S ICE-CREAM TIME!" effectively ruining the moment. Then the group walked to the nearby ice-cream shop.

~Hetalia~

America let his brother order first, since he was likely to be forgotten. "I-I don't know yet… Prussia, you go first…"

"Okay. The awesome me wants two scoops of… Is that beer ice-cream? I'll have that! Have you decided yet, Birdy?" Prussia asks the blushing Canada. "Y-yes. I'll have the maple syrup ice-cream. Two scoops, please." "I want 12 scoops of hamburger…" and so on until Italy's turn came. "I want some spamoni!" Everyone gave him a 'What the hell?' look until: "It's a green, pink, and white ice-cream with pistachios in it," explains Germany, hovering above Italy. "I'll have two scoops of mocha vanilla swirl." Come on, West! Try something less unawesome! You're so bland!" This earns Prussia a glare from his brother. "You sure do like white things Germany-san," Japan said then blushed when everyone laughed. "Ah, surely, mon cher, you have not forgotten me? I will go with a simple but ever-pleasing flavor. I will have two scoops of French Vanilla." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, earning a frying pan to the head because he happened to be facing Austria.

~Hetalia~ Everyone got their ice cream and went back to the beach to enjoy the rest of their evening. "Ve~! You have ice cream on your cheek, Germany!" Italy says before licking it off of his cheek. "Ohohohohon~ I can guess what you two do alone." Romano chose to be listening at that moment responding with, "Wh-what? Potato bastard, if you so much as lay a finger on my fratello, you are dead meat." Spain interjected, "Now, now Lovi~! It's not like we haven't done that before." At this, Hungary started nose bleeding. Majorly.

_Authors note: Might be continued later but we can't focus on this one at the moment…._


	4. A Trip to the Zoo

Authors note: Okay so maybe me and ur-a-baka95 need to get lives and text about other things….. chances are unlikely. We know everyone says they want reviews, but honestly pleasssse review! It literally makes our day. Thanks!

"Romano…" calls Spain floating into the bedroom, "Romano? It's time to wake up cute one!" Romano rolls over and sees its only 10:00 in the morning. Spain remembers the quickest way to wake up Romano, so he goes to the bed and lightly strokes the curl sticking out from under the blankets. "What the fuck! I thought we went over this…" Romano continued cussing while getting dressed so Spain wouldn't take advantage of his half-naked form.

Spain cut him off, "Let's go to the zoo today!" Romano was about to turn him down when he realized he had to do whatever Spain asked today, since he lost a bet with England. Romano said okay then went to get breakfast.

~Hetalia~

After eating breakfast, the pair had gone immediately to the zoo. "Let's go to the bears first. They're pretty amazing, don'tcha think, Romano?" an excited Spain asked, "Yea, whatever, fine…" Romano responded as he tried not to notice the millions of people who were staring. He didn't get why, so he tried not to focus on it. He realizes he has spoken his thoughts out loud when Spain answers him. "I used to work here."

"Oh," Romano states feeling a little stupid, "Then why didn't you tell me, bastard!" Suddenly they hear "Language, mon cher…" France said emerging from his hiding spot. "Get off me, wine bastard!" Romano yells as France gropes him not-to gently. "If you don't get off of my Romano, I will personally kick your ass," France and the Italian shivered, for Spain is scary when he's angry, calm voice or not. France immediately complies. "There. Now we can enjoy the rest of our day with no further interruptions, si?"

"Si, I mean, of course mon cher!" France sputters before running off. "Thanks…" mutters Romano before continuing to walk towards the bears. 'The bears are rather dull' thought Romano but he kept to himself seeming as Spain was talking about them in the most interested voice. Romano began to wonder if Spain had dated anyone who was obsessed with bears and that's why he knows so much. Or maybe.. his imagination ran wild. "Where to next?" Spain asks pulling Romano out of his daydreaming. "Umm… the tiger pit," Romano said.

~Hetalia~

Somewhere far away Hungary's YMBH (Yaoi Might be Happening) radar began to buzz. She grabs the device then magically transports to the tiger pit. She sits preparing to nosebleed. She sees her target and goes in for the kill.

~Hetalia~

Romano gets pushed into Spain by some random girl with long wavy brown hair. "S-sorry…" Romano says blushing a bit. "It's more then fine Lovi!" Spain says as he pulls the other into a chaste kiss. Romano pulls away about to storm off when Spain grabs his hand not allowing it. "Your so cute Lovi.." he whispers pulling in for another kiss. "I-I'm not cute! That is cute!" Romano pulls back pointing to a tiger cub. Spain is shocked but replies, "You know what? You're right.." Romano looks relieved until: "You're not cute, you're sexy.." Spain pulls Romano in for a rather passionate kiss, earning glares from angry teachers and parents. "Don't look kids!" is all they can say. "Eeewww…" says a few guys on the field trip. "Aww…So cute!" squeal a bunch of girls, and Hungary, as they all reach for Hungary's tissues to clean their nosebleeds. Romano moaned into the kiss leaning in for more. But Spain pulls away, takes him by the hand, and walks saying something about 'lunch time'.

~Hetalia~

Out of the their two choices, they picked the English restaurant named 'The Angry Crumpet'. Once there, they ordered their food. They got a large tomato dish to share. Arthur was their waiter and apparently the chief too… Because when their food came out it was extra crispy with a large side of burnt. Romano wants to seem brave so he dared a bite, "Eww," was all he could say for they left very quickly to go to the other restaurant.

They walked into McDonalds and the first thing they hears is "Oh my gosh! I thought France was lying! Hey guys what can a hero like me get you today?" Romano almost turns around but Spain stops him. Romano opens his mouth to order but America cuts him off, "Twenty bucks.. or err whatever money you use… says that I can bring you exactly what you want!" Romano can never back down from a bet, "Okay your on, hamburger bastard!" Spain gave him a look but he could care less.

Alfred won. He walks up holding, "Two double cheeseburgers, no mustard or pickles, with extra tomatoes!" Extra tomatoes there is… there is more tomatoes on the hamburgers then hamburger. Spain and Romano take a few bites after paying America. They sat in clear view of the kitchen but no one else would be able to see them. They suddenly hear some slurping noises then "Stop it I don't want to get you bloody fired!" followed by a "But I want you now…" This was followed by more slurping noises. Romano eyes widen when he looks over to see America leaning England against the wall licking done his neck. America slowly licked back up, nibbling softly, until he reached England's lips. Romano stands up and bolts out, while a chuckling Spain follows. "Why can't they get a room!" Romano yells startling a little blonde girl and earning a dirty look from the little girls older brother. The brother of the girl mutters something about 'Wait till he gets a fucking gun…' Spain drags Romano away. As they walk out of the zoo Spain grabs Romano's hand. "That was lots of fun," Romano says sarcastically. "The day isn't over yet…" Spain responds as Hungary's YMBH radar went nuts leading her to Spain's house.

Authors note: Sorry this took so long… blame ur-a-baka95! She's been making me read a million different fics against my will when it was my turn to type the chapter!


	5. Another Day

_Authors Note: Sorry this one took so long… Blame school! Ur-a-baka95 straight wrote this one so thank her with reviews! Please?_

'Let's see what my bug picked up today...' Elizabeta thought as she grew bored at lunch. She was eating with Gilbert, Matthew, Feliciano, Ludwig, Vash, and Roderich today, so it was a mystery as to _why _she was bored in the first place. She pulled out her laptop and logged into her network of (yaoi-capturing) equipment.

'Oh? Sounds like something is happening at Alfred's house,' she thought, putting in her earbuds only to hear something unexpected (other than what's-his-name actually speaking, that is). 'Since when could I capture flashbacks?' What she heard next made her blush, giggle, and nosebleed. A lot.

"What's so funny, Elizabeta?" Roderich dared to ask, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing. Just the UST between you and Vash," she lied smoothly. The young Swiss looked ready to murder her now, but that blush just gave away his feelings and made her fangirl some more. 'Note to self: Remember to set up cameras in Vash's house!'

"Come on, Roddy! Did you really have to ask her that? She's obviously watching me and Birdy make out!" Gilbert exclaimed with a smug look on his face. He kissed the now madly blushing Canadian right then and there to prove his point.

"Hmm... Close enough. Actually, I was listening in on Alfred and Arthur's make out session," Elizabeta replied sheepishly. 'Damn! I wish I _had _ been watching them, though!' She realised she had voiced her thoughts out loud only when she noticed all eyes were on her.

"Heh heh... Oh! Feli, look over there! Your brother and Antonio are here!" she said, glad for the distraction. 'They are one of my favourite couples!' she thought, of the Italian and his boyfriend.

"Ve~? Yep! Fratello was trying to spy on me and Ludwig to make sure nothing happened!" Feliciano smiled over at Ludwig, who was now blushing like crazy, on that last part.

"I-I was not! I was just... I was just..." Lovino stuttered indignantly.

"He was just going on a date with me! We just happened to go to the same restaraunt as you guys," Antonio smiled a smile that could rival even Feliciano's. He then hugged Lovino, who responded by trying to escape.

Said Italian took the opportunity to sneak a quick kiss on Ludwig's cheek.

"I saw that, potato bastard! Don't make me send the mafia after you! Ch-chigii!" a blushing Lovino said as he pushed away from Antonio's hug.

"Aww... Lovi~!" The Spaniard pouted.

Elizabeta then noticed that Matthew, who had been forgotten entirely by everyone but a certain self-proclaimed Prussian, was trying to say something.

"What was that about my brother? AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE, GIL! STOP THAT!" he said, pushing the albino away so that he could think straight again. Now everyone was in a shocked silence.

"H-here... listen for yourself..." the Hungarian girl replied meekly, pushing her laptop over so that Matthew could hear.

"Ummm... Is that a flashback? And... Oh God, I _really_ did not need to hear that!" the once again blushing Canadian said.

"Don't worry, Birdy. At least you aren't in the same house as them right now," Gilbert said, trying to comfort his boyfriend the best that he could.

Elizabeta had to fight down her urge to take out her camera when she saw Antonio and Lovino making out in a far corner of the cafe. Some other people also noticed, but just shrugged it off. They were used to it by now.

Thus Elizabeta's semi-normal day went.

_Authors notes: Btw next chapter may contain rated M if you guys want! Just review and let us know!_


	6. Texting

Authors note: Sorry for no updates but life got in the way. This conversation was from my friends who are Italy texting ur-a-baka95 while thatgirl21 was acting Francish. Well even though this chapter has nothing to do with the holidays: Happy Holidays! Btw this is a PruCan and a mention of FrUK if you take it that way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Canada's side of the texts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Canada sat on the couch while Prussia flipped through the channels, trying to find a show that was suitably "awesome." He finally settled on watching The Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest Criminals. It proved to be very funny, so Prussia decided it was a very awesome choice indeed. Canada, on the other hand, was still very bored… until his phone buzzed, telling him he had a text. A picture of pasta popped up letting the Canadian know that it was Italy who had texted him. His suspicions were proved correct by the text. 'Hey, it's Italy. Ve~!'

'Why would Italy be texting me? I know I'm friends with Romano, but Italy hardly remembers me at meetings,' thought (a somewhat suspicious) Canada. He decided to reply with 'Oh, hello Italy!' The reply was quick. 'How are you doing today? Ve~!' Canada replied with 'I'm fine. You?' Prussia noticed that his boyfriend was not paying any attention whatsoever to his rant about how awesome his pet bird is when the next text came. 'I'm good, Ve~! But the wine bastard won't leave me alone!' "Looks like Romano got the phone at the end of that text…" Prussia said, stating the obvious. "No, really? I thought that was still Italy," Canada said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Kesesesesese! That's just how awesome I am, Birdy. I just know these things," Prussia stated with a grin. "I think you know where else I'm awesome," he added, grinning even more. Canada decided that now was probably the best time to reply to Italy. 'That's just what France does…^^;'

Canada could practically hear Romano shout back 'I know that! Just help me! Chigiii!' Canada and Prussia suddenly felt their phones vibrating with a new message, this time from France. 'L'honhonhon. South Italy now belongs to France!' was the message that Prussia got. Canada's had an added 'Ur next, mon cher. ;)' at the end of it. Prussia, after seeing the text that France had sent Canada, quickly replied with 'Not awesome, dude. Canada's mine!' Canada, at the same time was replying with 'I hope not… O_o;' France texted him back very quickly. All the next text said was 'L'honhonhon'. Prussia saw the madly blushing Canadian and went to comfort him. "M-maple…"

"Let me guess… France making passes at you?" Canada nodded. "That's just what he does. He doesn't take it very seriously… unless he's harassing England, but I think you may know a bit too much about that already." Canada felt his phone vibrate again, this time it was a text from Italy. 'Don't worry, Canada, Romano got away from France, ve~!' Canada replied with a 'That's good.'

'Yeah, but I don't know about you…' Italy responded quickly. 'Prussia said he'd take care of it.' Canada said. 'Oh, you should be fine then.' Italy replied. Prussia snaked an arm around Canada's waist. "At least he knows that I am reliable enough to protect you! Kesesesesese!" He then proceeded to kiss him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~France's side of the Texts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Italy and Romano welcome, welcome!" France said delighted as the boys walked into his house. "L'hon hon hon," He proceeded to snake his arm around both brunettes waists. "Get off me wine bastard!" Romano yelled running into the living room. They sat down for tea as France talked about all the countries he used to take care of. France seemed to be focusing on Canada more then any other one so Italy figured he'd text said nation 'Hey, it's Italy. Ve~!' He figured he might as well remind the nation who it was since Italy had problems forgetting Canada sometimes. 'Oh, hello Italy!' the brunette got back a few moments later. France now seemed to be quite drunk somehow noticed Romano but he didn't say anything to his brother not wanting to encourage the his loving brother to do get drunk too. Italy meanwhile was replying quickly, 'How are you doing today? Ve~!' The Canadian replied with 'I'm fine. You?' Italy started to respond when he was suddenly getting groped 'I'm good, Ve~!…' Italy started to respond when he was suddenly getting groped His brother stole his phone away adding, 'But the wine bastard won't leave me alone!' before going to save his brother. Romano soon got back a worthless 'That's just what France does…^^;' back from that maple-loving bastard! Romano replied back angrily 'I know that! Just help me! Chigiii!'

With that the conversation was cut off with France grope-tackling him onto the couch. France held him down saying, "Your lovely brother ran away so you will have to do" France laughed, "Now to spend my victory!" The blonde whipped out his own phone forwarding 'L'honhonhon. South Italy now belongs to France!' to everyone in his contacts save his own few ex-colonies who he added a cheerful 'Ur next, mon cher. ;)' at the end. France got a 'I hope not O_o;' from one of his favorites Canada. He replied with a laugh then realized Romano had escaped. "Damn," France said passing out.

The Italy brothers jumped into their sports car making a pact never to let France get drunk while alone with him again.


	7. Party at Greece's house

A/N: WhatisthisIdon'teven... My friend and I were bored... 'Nuff said.

Disclaimer: Consider this disclaimed...

Once upon a time there was a party at Greece's house. The guest list included many of his friends and some new guy named Zimbabwe along with one enemy. Ukraine, Prussia, and Ireland were the first to arrive. Ireland and Prussia were already smashed by the time they got there. Ukraine, pulling a favor for the surprisingly absent Hungary, was videotaping the two males as they dry humped on a couch. Greece was about to start flipping out about these acts of… seduction but thankfully his lover, Germany showed up about then. Dragging Greece deep into a closet not to return for quite awhile. Turkey and Zimbabwe showed up holding hands much to Ukraine's surprise.

Zimbabwe was a quiet guy and went mostly unnoticed except to his lover. Turkey busted into the closet Germany and Greece had occupied. He yelled, "Yo, whazzz up?" the masked fellow earned a door to his face or ahh… mask. Prussia then slurred, "What's up dude? Hey you should get awesome me another beer! And my awesome Lay too." Turkey just sighed wishing for France and that one guy to show up. Then maybe he could finally get in bed with France. Ukraine sat in between Prussia and Ireland breaking up their slurping noises.

Greece emerged slightly disheveled claiming he had to go pick up some people. Soon after he left Canada came running down the stairs while a crazy French man followed behind him trying to get at his behind. Luckily for Canada, Turkey got France off guard with a hug. France more interested in his adopted son tried to break away, only after grabbing Turkey's butt. Everyone greeted France warmly knowing he would help the party be more fun. Canada was only greeted by a randomly emerging from nowhere South Italy. China soon followed and ended up right in France's arms where the petite man would spend most of the night. Greece announced that no other countries would be able to make the party. Canada pulled out his laptop, after dodging France's roaming hands (many times), and started playing some sweet tunes that totally destroyed.

Somehow Ireland and Prussia managed to herd everyone into the bedroom Greece and Germany were hooking up in. A lot of confusion started when the lights went out. Greece heard a drunken shout from Prussia, "You must feel lucky! You got all these hot guys in the same room as you!" Ireland added in a slurred yell, "Orgy!" Everyone laughed then fled the room knowing Prussia and Ireland were serious.

Later on, Prussia and Ireland were dared by Ukraine and Greece to drink some of Mexico's hottest hot sauce. Being as drunk as they were, the idiots agreed. Grandpa Rome and Germania video taped the whole ordeal. Ireland was the first to feel the effects. Prussia became arrogant claiming awesome him could drink the whole bottle. Not heeding everyone's warnings he drank the whole bottle. Needless to say, after drinking the 2nd most hottest hot sauce in the world, he ran outside and threw up in the snow. Also on his brother's much loved car (which he did on purpose). Everyone but Canada, China and France ran outside to watch. France dragged China into a nearby bathroom. Germany slyly went in after them. Much moaning ensued after words. Later China and Germany would end up drunkenly taking advantage of each other on the stairs while France took pictures.

Canada, who was blazed, went straight to the munchie table. He was still eating when suddenly Zimbabwe joined him. Soon they wandered to the living room and were playing an X-Box 360 game when everyone, minus a Prussian, walked back in.

France and Ukraine sat on a couch. China sat on France's lap and Germany on Ukraine. France and Ukraine made jokes about being pimps. Zimbabwe randomly laughed taking pictures. Canada didn't even seem to notice. Greece soon leaned over and kissed Germany dragging him to the other couch where Romano quietly sat. France was worried about Southern Italy but said nothing. Instead he groped Ukraine. After all her large bosom called to him and the Eiffel Tower. China getting jealous nuzzled closer to her big brother Francis.

France winks at Zimbabwe and soon hears, "Francis Bonnefoy! What are you doing trying to seduce my man!" Turkey looks angry. Canada randomly distracts everyone by showing off funny pictures on his smexy laptop. Ukraine and Ireland walk out together to say goodbye since Ireland is taking Prussia home. Canada moves over next to France not because he wanted to but because he really didn't want an orgy happening on his friend's couch that he sometimes sleeps on. Turkey leans over the rail to get a better view. Romano is still strangely quiet. Zimbabwe continues playing his video games.

Soon everything fades into a comfortable silence. Germany and Greece are making out in a reclined chair. South Italy is still sitting there refusing to speak to anyone about what is wrong. Everyone assumes its do to Spain not being there and leaves him alone. Mostly because they didn't want him biting them or head butting them. Canada and Turkey have rolled a joint and are passing it back and forth. Zimbabwe is also reclining looking close to sleep. France has Canada on one side with both Ukraine and China on his lap. Soon they all fall asleep one by one France stealing a kiss from each. It's already the next morning. Somewhere far away Japan hands Hungary a DVD, a blush across his cheeks.


	8. Valentine's Day

_Author's Note: Honestly this was a product of my brain power at 3:00 in the morning. Which means its completely randomer then usual. Also sorry if Sweden is hard to understand but I just wrote how he talks._

Two new lovers by the names of Sweden and Finland or Berwald and Tino decided to spend Valentine's Day spreading news of their love. They decided to start in the Western Hemisphere but they couldn't find that one country's house. "Isn't that America's house?" exclaimed the Finnish man happy to get out of the cold. They rang the doorbell and the door swung open, "Hello," Canada says in his usual whisper going unheard. "Hello?" The shorter blonde cried out, it echoed. "Coming!" a Prussian yells from somewhere. Emerging from deep within the house the Prussian shows up at the door. Much to Finland's surprise suddenly another man, he believes is Canada, appears to him. "Dude, my awesome boyfriend was right here!" Canada whispers-talks, "It's okay, I'm used to it…"

The violet eyed man began to talk only to be cut off by his usually quiet lover, "Th's h're 's m' w'fe." The taller then dragged the Finnish man away. Next they went to America's house where no one answered. Continuing on the went to the Irish brothers and Scotland's house only to again find no one was home. Berwald dragged the Finnish man into a bar. The three brothers sat in a far corner. Again the Swedish fellow just walked up declared Finland his wife and walked away. Cheers erupted from the redheaded trio along with a round of 'finally'. Finland felt some annoyance but said nothing happy that their good news was getting out.

There was no answer at England's door so they continue on to France. They are welcomed by moaning when they ring the doorbell of France's mansion. Soon France appears at the door completely naked. Sweden covers Finland's eyes from the site. "I already know, that he's your wife. Now not to be rude but I'm a little busy, unless you like to join," France says with a wink but he closes the door without waiting for a rejection. Sweden now mentally scarred drags Finland to the next house: Italy's.

They ring the doorbell, Italy is there in a flash. Finland blushes at his half-nakedness, "Ve~ Germany and I were about to get.." The stern Germany had effectively cut his lover off by putting a hand over his mouth. "Th's h're 's m' w'fe," Sweden states, Finland laughs, "You should really stop calling me your wife!" Italy pushes the German's hand away and begins to talk about how much he wanted to tell everyone about him and… The door was slammed into the blondes' faces. "Where to next?" Finland asks only getting a grunt in return.

"Tomato bastard there is someone at the door!" They hear the lower Italian brother shout after they knocked. Spain answers the door sighing slightly, "Damn we were finally getting somewhere!" Sweden says a little more then usual, "I'm s'rry t' b'ther y'u b't m' w'fe w'nted y'u t' kn'w th't w' 're tog'ther n'w." The green eyed men give their congratulations then politely slam the door in their face.

After many more stops and door slamming the couple finally reach Japan's house. By this time Finland had just about had enough of being called the wife. Sweden didn't seem to notice his wife's annoyance. They knock and Japan (the first one to be fully dressed) opens the door. "Sweden-san and Finland-san whatever are you doing here on such a… day?" the little Japanese man asks. "W'll I j'st w'nted t' sh'w y'u m' w'fe." Finland cracks, "I'm not your wife! I fucking top you every time! Shut the fuck up about the wife thing!' Japan runs inside a grabs a camera and tissue box pulling Hungary to the doorway with him. "I'm s'rry m' l've I gu'ss y'u 're m' h'sband n't m' w'fe," Sweden states before thinking, 'I'll s'y 'nyth'ng t' pl'ase m' w'fe.' Finland pulls him into a deep kiss causing all the innocent bystanders to faint from blood loss.


	9. Tea Time

A/N: Sorry about the whole writing style changing but it happens. Please Review and flames are welcomed because then its still a review. J

Disclaimer: Consider this… *dramatic pause* …disclaimed.

"Hello America," England sighs walking into the café.

"Hey Iggy!", America smiles motioning for him to sit down.

A waiter comes by and they order. "So, thanks for meeting me here! I feel like we haven't talked in forever!", America shouts.

They talk about their lives somewhat decently. England only curses about 80% of the time and America is using his brain, not just his mouth.

The waiter comes by with England's tea and America's Coke. They talk a little bit more then England sips his tea, "My tea is cold!"

America laughs, "Then hire a super hero, like myself, to warm it up for you!"

England scowls, "You're no hero America."

America stands up and walks over to another table. He lifts it above his head, "But I have super strength!"

England laughs without real humor and lifts a table, "I can do that, too."

America throws down the table and sits back down pouting. "Uggh I'm so sick of you!"

England drops his table and storms out of the now trashed restaurant.

America sighs as France walks in, "What ever is wrong mon cher?"

America pouts then says, "Iggy and I were having a great time until they gave him freaking cold tea and he through a huge fit over it!"

France looks sentimental a reaches towards America. America stands up knocking his chair and cup over. Pouting or not, America is not letting France grope him.

"What do you think you're doing?" America shouts.

"Just comforting a beautiful person l'hon hon hon," France laughs advancing towards America. In turn the, bespectacled blonde runs out of the café.

The French man laughs sitting down, "That's why you don't trash my restaurant or mess with my England…"

Little did America know, Russia was waiting outside to capture him.

France takes a sip of the tea that was brought to him, "Eww! This tea is cold!" He walks to the kitchen to fire some people and get some employees to clean up the café. He walks up to the chef with the tea.

~Hetalia~

America walks outside, looking for England. Little does he know, Russia is kolkolkoling his way towards him.

"Why hello there, Америка. Become one now, да?" The creepy Russian says from behind a tree.

America whirls around, eyes wide with fear. "What do you want? Who's there?" He only hears a faint 'kolkolkolkol' as a response. Suddenly, he sees Russia behind the tree. Strangely, the tree has a camera tied to one of the branches. 'What the hell..?' America thinks as a pair of strong arms grab him from behind.

"AAH! Let go of me, Commie bastard!"

"Get away from my brother! Kekkon kekkon kekkon…" Belarus says, mysteriously popping out of nowhere.

"NOOO! Get away! сестра, please! I don't want to marry you!" Russia practically bawls as his sister approaches

Belarus glares at America. "This is all your fault!"

"N-no it isn't! I swear I don't love your brother! I love England!" America blurts out.

"You love that чай-сосать ублюдок?" Belarus says, unimpressed.

"сестра, stop using my language. You are freaking me out…" Russia says.

"But брат, I love you. Why not share the language?" Belarus says, pulling out a knife and pointing it at her brother.

America uses this distraction to get the hell away from the pair and find England.

He found the Englishman sitting on a park bench facing a lake. "Hey, Iggy! I just wanted to apologize for earlier today…" America says, fidgeting and looking very uncomfortable.

"N-no. I'm the one who should apologize. I was the one who stormed out of the café, after all…" England says.

"By the way… was it you who sent Belarus to stop Russia from raping me?" America asks, interested.

"W-well… I heard France talking on his phone, telling Russia that you were going to become one with him. I knew it wasn't true, so I called Belarus up and all I had to say to her was 'Russia' and she said she was on her way."

"Aww… Thanks, Iggy! I knew you loved me, too!" America says, giving the madly blushing Briton a quick peck on the lips.

The couple hears a squeal from a tree across the lake. A very familiar-looking tree… Camera and all.

"Hey, when did that tree get there?" America asks, suspicious.

"Oh, never mind that." England says before kissing his American lover again.

'Hehehe… I am so glad I brought this tree to hide in,' thinks a nosebleeding Hungary as she watches the new couple make out across the lake.


End file.
